Gay Marraige is Legal - Don't Panic!!!

Look, panicking can be fun. It can give us purpose, energy and lots to talk about. For about 34 years, I was a bit addicted to panic and I’d lose sleep over every expert claiming “the end is nigh!” I was so panicked, in fact, that in 2011, I bought two five-pound bags of flour because a conservative newscaster had me—a new and paranoid mother of one—convinced that the world was going to hell and I needed to stock up. (It took me batch after batch of cookies to finally finish that damn flour purchase and, you know, the world is still here and it’s even still pretty.)

So as much as I’d like to give a lot of credence to the panicking going on over the Supreme Court ruling this morning, there are several ways we can look at this—no matter where you stand on the issue—and find common ground and even a common goal for change.

First, of course, are the Christians saying that this is a sign Christ is coming back soon. Which is awesome. But kind of unlikely since that’s been said to be right around the corner by the original apostles. However, I’d just like it noted that if He is about to come back and solve all of these uncomfortable problems, I think most of the “burning” that will be happening will be of child abusers, rapists, murderers and mutilators (and if you like bad guys getting the rough treatment, you should read my new thriller, Stranglehold, which is only three bucks on Amazon, so....), but I kind of doubt He'll be mowing down consenting adults who are actually generous, conscientious, devoted people and happen to eschew marriage or live in a same sex one. I just, somehow, don’t think Christ would say, “Yeah, you help the poor, nurture many of my children, and bring joy to so many, but you’re a dude who likes dudes, so hell it is for you!”

But, still, if you’re a Christian, this is good news!

But if He doesn’t show, we have some things to discuss.

For instance, some may cry out that making it legal is somehow encouraging it. But, in all honestly, I can only say that the current state of society is exactly what religious conservatives have asked for.

Of course I’ll explain.

[But not before I first inform you that I am not a legal analyst, I did not read the decision word for word, and I don’t appreciate Supreme Court judges ruling on something that has nothing to do with the nation’s Constitution, as I am a proponent of state’s rights and would rather we the people rally for our own Constitutional amendment on this issue instead (as well as for a rescinding of Amendment 17 and for the creation of an amendment for term limits)—but we’re just too busy to educate ourselves enough to manage our own freedom, because, like, our Netflix queue is getting backed up, ya’ll, so thus it is.]

But back to the initial subject of my exquisite insights…

For the last few decades (probably more, but I was a toddler or unborn, so I can’t be sure), people have been harping on the shifting of American values and how this is a Christian nation (though that is not set forth in the Constitution, but you knew that). So Christians have demanded that the government rule them according to a certain belief system—enacting laws, forbidding things, granting things, going to war, etc. And so if a certain demographic wants the government to represent beliefs (which are largely emotional) and make laws according to the loudest cries of anguish (also emotional), then that government will shift according to the emotional arguments that best shift beliefs.

In essence, this is what you’ve wanted, this is how things have always been done—emotionally. But now the tables have turned.

I’m not antagonizing you. I’m not trying to insult you. I’m trying to convert you.

But bear with me.  I have another point to make.

As someone who was raised an LDS Christian, I cannot number the lessons we were taught about free agency, about how we wanted so badly to choose that we begged to come to earth and be tested, and that it was Satan’s plan to rob us of all choice.

Well, another option for marriage has been legalized. More choice. Could that really be a bad thing? I mean, wouldn’t it say more about a person’s faith to have all options and choose the path your faith defines?

Now, of course, so many will come at me with all kinds of options that should not be offered such as abortion, drugs, or other things that threaten life and property—but this does nothing of the sort. Same sex marriage, while new and largely untested, does not—as a concept or even in practice thus far—threaten life or property. Bend it this way or that, give me the worst case scenario, and, sure, you can imagine something horrible coming of this, but that’s panicking, and that’s not reasonable.

To be honest, religions have had a bit of struggle defining marriage throughout the centuries. And usually women were on the losing end of these experiments. Just read the Old Testament. Give that sucker a gander and you’ll see that men could pretty much own women at their whim. Even as recently as the 1800’s in America, Christian religions were popping up and either opening marriages to communal orgies or were simply allowing powerful men to hoard wives and send younger men out of the communities to hunt for mates.

So I guess if you want to be ruled by Christian values, you’re going to have to be pretty specific on the sect (and have all Christians agree on this sect—hahahah, best of luck because pretty much all differing sects think all of the other sects are dummies), and, if that sect is chosen, that sect had better have a pretty spotless history when it comes to marital doctrine and practice.

It isn’t possible. And while it’s scary to be ruled by different values or no values whatsoever, that is kind of what the founding fathers had in mind in creating a “charter of negative liberties,” so that the federal government would have little say in the day to day dealings of American citizens. So we don’t have to be scared. We can simply get back to basics and get back to minding our own business.

That said, I have to say that I’m not perfect in this regard. MYOB was not my strong suit in 2008. At the behest of my church—against my own judgment and experience—I supported Prop 8. I hated every minute of it, but I did it. And I paid heavily for it. And it will forever be a reminder to me to trust myself and never allow any institution to tell me to override bigger principles for petty ones.

And what are my principles? Do I have any values whatsoever? And what am I trying to convert you to?

That’s easy. Libertarianism.

No, not the college campus libertarianism where they argue for the legalization of drugs ad nauseam. (I’m a libertarian against the legalization of drugs, but that’s for a different post.) I’m talking about the grown up kind, where we have to come to a place of trusting good people, owning guns because bad people exist, and diminishing the idea that government is also religion and decides what is good and bad for us and society. If we had never allowed government to do this in the first place, I’m not sure we’d be here. In fact, I’m sure we wouldn’t be. Because the government would be so small and so limited to constructing roads, maintaining a military defense, and facilitating trade that we’d be like, “That’s nice, but just fix the potholes, please. We got this.” And same sex marriage would be defined by whatever sect would practice it and other sects would have a lot to say but little power to do much about it.

Politicians, activists, cable news anchors—they’re using you and messing with you. And they're making boat loads of money doing it.  

So join with me, please, in not giving a crap. In telling your children, “Be good, be honest, be giving, do good, work hard, and mind your own business.” And then start voting for small government candidates. And then start donating to charities so we take care of each other more and need government less. Because I believe in us. I believe we’ll take care of each other and be good to each other and find that, in this life, we’re all we’ve got and breaking each other builds nothing of worth.